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Category Archives: Does your momma know?

Really? Is anyone surprised that Tiger got caught? Well, I guess he is.

But the headlines are ridiculous with the best being the ones that wonder how Tiger could cheat on his hot wife? Ummm, because he’s a man and that’s what men do? That is not misandry, but truth. Black, white or “Cablasian” (as Tiger labeled himself when he hit the big time), women know it, men know it.

What’s infinitely more offensive is his mad scramble to save his endorsements and his complete lack of social consciousness in selecting for whom he shills. David Zirin over at The Nation gives some well-needed perspective on athletes and social accountability.

Does BUNA care if a Cablasian man cheats on his white wife with another white woman? Not one Fig Newton, no, we don’t. Do we care if Tiger makes corporate slavemasters like Chevron look good? Yeah, we care, especially if kids are being encouraged to emulate him and want to be like Tiger.

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Any black choir that backs up a white singer must be paid handsomely to coon. Really, what’s that pay per person, per soul-sucking minute standing under those hot-ass studio lights in purple or winter white choir robes?

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faith hill with her kumbayaa choir

Why are you adding gratuitous soul to someone who would lose in a contest with your weakest member? Does your choir director hate you that much to agree to pimp y’all out like that? Or were you really dumb enough to think singing backup on American Idol/X Factor/the Grammys would be “good exposure”?

e street band needs a choir???

e street band needs a choir???

Know what else is good exposure? Singing in the subway. At least you get top billing and some change for pork rinds on the train platform.

P.S. I’m also gonna include black singers with Messiah-complex’s who add-choir-and-stir. I know Kanye’s award-winning song is called “Jesus Walks,” but having a choir hoist you into the air while wearing Freddie Mercury wings? For reals?

kanyewest

One day I hope Kanye and Bono have a bitch-slap fight: “I’M the second coming!” “No, I’M the second coming.” You both degrade your talent. Shut up.

30518562Black actors have it rough in ol’ Blighty. The BBC doesn’t do ’em right. The soap, Eastenders, has pretty much consigned one of the nation’s finest Afro-Caribbean actors (Rudolph Walker as Patrick Truman) to owning the cornershop, left by his wife, playing PeePaw to kids that ain’t his, and hit on by one too many pension-age white women. We think there was a recent plotline nod to the historic Notting Hill Riots, but BUNA’s Manager of the Remote Control lost patience with this shows wack attitude (wackitude?) toward blackness and refused to let us watch anymore. We’re like that: hive mind.

And black folk don’t fare much better on channels with advertising either. Mostly featured are black men with ridiculous perms, singing (again with the choirs!), usually wearing shades of black and blue. Why are they always wearing this combination of colors? Is that the color of their battered black man souls from wrestling with their consciences? Howard Brown (pictured above riding a swan, for some inexplicable, pass-the-bong reason), a former Halifax Bank employee turned singing spokesman, was routinely voted the most annoying person on telly. BUNA would suggest that even white folks don’t like to see a black man degraded, as Howard was in the YouTube clip (below) or in this series of truly coon-y pics collated by the fascist, but accurate in this instance Daily Mail.

The one ad that BUNA was on the fence about has subsequently been pulled. Cadbury was trying to foment a “gum revolution” using a dub poet, running around shouting at people through a megaphone, “Mastication for de Nation!!!”

BUNA’s immature, so we really only heard this brother (allegedly a dub poet) advocating masturbation for de nation, which is fine by us. A wank is better than gum anytime. Nonetheless, some obscure Pan-African organization (Ligali—since when?) along with other black folks complained to the Advertising Standards Authority and got a ruling that the ad should be pulled. BUNA doesn’t really give a toss about Cadbury and thinks they should steer clear of gum and stick with choccie. They could’ve saved everyone a lot of aggro if they’d had the brother write an actual dub poem about their gum, thereby, spreading come cultural literacy and shilling their ridiculous product.

Now I hear some of you saying, “give the thespian brothers & sisters a break. There aren’t a lot of roles and black people gotta eat, too.” True, not a lot of roles…okay, no roles. But, really, if I feed y’all will you stop taking these coon-a-rific roles?

I hate to cook and live off hummus, No-No crackers, and white wine, but my diet is rich in vitamins D-I-G-N-I-T-and Y!

BUNA will be playing catch up for a while on all the trifflingness some of us have gotten up to, so bear with us. For example, though her blog is now defunct on Blogger, we concur, like, to the millionth degree with this sistah’s assertions about little black girls dancin’ like hoochies in videos.

This shit is unacceptable. It is not cute. These girlchildren are not “expressing themselves.” They’re mimicking the straight up wack behavior they see the older women in their lives exhibiting and what they think boy and men want to see.While I am all for the creativity and spirit of African-American dance, this shit’s just skanky.

Start a movement: let’s keep our girls off the pole! (yeah, we stole that from Chris Rock who is so not cooning!)