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Any black choir that backs up a white singer must be paid handsomely to coon. Really, what’s that pay per person, per soul-sucking minute standing under those hot-ass studio lights in purple or winter white choir robes?

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faith hill with her kumbayaa choir

Why are you adding gratuitous soul to someone who would lose in a contest with your weakest member? Does your choir director hate you that much to agree to pimp y’all out like that? Or were you really dumb enough to think singing backup on American Idol/X Factor/the Grammys would be “good exposure”?

e street band needs a choir???

e street band needs a choir???

Know what else is good exposure? Singing in the subway. At least you get top billing and some change for pork rinds on the train platform.

P.S. I’m also gonna include black singers with Messiah-complex’s who add-choir-and-stir. I know Kanye’s award-winning song is called “Jesus Walks,” but having a choir hoist you into the air while wearing Freddie Mercury wings? For reals?

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One day I hope Kanye and Bono have a bitch-slap fight: “I’M the second coming!” “No, I’M the second coming.” You both degrade your talent. Shut up.

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